Yesterday I was perusing Instagram and came across a post from Jessie James Decker. The post made me kinda mad, so I wanted to share with you guys. (And nothing against Jessie- I'm quite obsessed with her TV show & her as a person sooo this def isn't anything against her! She just happened to inspire a post ;) (and for those of you reading who have no idea who she is, no worries, not important to the moral of this story)
Why did that picture make me so angry?
I don't think that it is fair at all for YOU (well, not YOU, you, but the population in general) to be the decider of what your friend should and should not be spending money on! That, my amigos, is being a financial bully.
Why is financial bullying bad?
You guys know me... I am such a huge fan of prioritization in your financial life. If you don't want to do something (like a "nice", which I'm assuming means "expensive", dinner), then you shouldn't have to! It's YOUR money, you should be able to do whatever the heck you want with it.
If shopping for new shoes makes you happier than going to dinner- then go for it! You should never have someone guilting you into spending money on something that THEY want to do and you don't.
I honestly think that this is one of the biggest problems with twenty somethings (particularly women)-- we feel so guilted into doing everything that everyone else wants, that we have no money left to do the things that WE want to do!
I don't think it is fair at all to assume that our friends have the same priorities as us. And you know what? If their priorities are different, the LAST thing we should ever do is get mad at them for it!
Let's agree to stop it, mmmmkay?
I'm not saying that YOU are a financial bully-- I mean, you read my blog, so obviously you're probably way ahead of your peers in financial knowledge. But I guess I'm writing this as more of a wakeup call-- we all need to realize that everyone on earth has different likes and dislikes. Your friends might not like doing what you like to do, and vice versa. Let's try to be respectful of everyone's financial priorities, okay? :)
And I guess I'm also writing it to say: I give you permission to turn down invites from friends. I give you permission to prioritize the heck outta your life. If you want to spend money on one thing/activity in particular, then by all means, spend money there. (just make sure it's not putting you into debt... then I'd have issue with that ;)) If anyone makes you feel guilty for it... well, then they are a financial bully. Write me an email and we can vent about it together :)
Have you ever been financially bullied?
Thankfully, I can't think of a time where anyone actually made me feel guilty for not doing something-- I think usually it's my own brain that makes me feel guilty! Also, it probably helps that most of my friends know that I'm super financially focused so they accept my "I don't want to spend money on that" excuses :)