It's been a little over a month since I quit my job and moved up to the Arctic Circle (aka New York).  It's been amazing and scary and fun and really-flippin-hard all at the same time.  But I am so happy that I'm experiencing it.  


tea at desk

I'm going to take today to give you a little glance into all the crazy things going around in my head.  Just pretend you're sitting down with me at my desk and we're sharing a big cup of tea while chatting ;)


I'm in a glass case of emotions.

(name that movie!)

The weirdest thing, hands down, about quitting my job is becoming my own boss.  I can't think of any other time in my life where I was literally reporting to no one but myself.  I've always had my parents, or my teachers, or a boss, as my ultimate judge.


But these days, the only person who gives me work and who gets pissed if I don't finish it in a timely manner is myself.


Now, when I slack off, it's 100% my fault.  I can't blame anyone else.  I've gotta play the boss card and give myself a stern lecture (mentally, of course.  I don't talk out loud, that would be a whole 'nother story) which is hard because I think one of the most important things about making it through the self-employment journey is pumping yourself up and being your own biggest fan.  I'm walking a fine line between being hard on myself and telling myself how flippin' awesome I am.  I'm afraid that if I become too negative, I'll start to hate this experience and will give up.


Side note:  In a way, I now see why some people like working for a boss and wouldn't ever want to start their own business.  It's easy (kinda) to walk into work and just be told what to do.  Yeah, you might not like some of the tasks, but you know what you gotta do, so you do it.  If you show up and do your job, you'll get a pay check.  As long as you don't mess up too bad, you probably won't get fired.


And then there's the whole doubting yourself thing.  I imagine this can happen to anyone, in any stage of life, but I feel it's especially scary when you're putting yourself out there and trying to build something new.  I find new bloggers every day, and while that's awesome, it makes me doubt myself.  In my brain, every blog I see is better than mine.  Every blog I see has a bigger following than mine.  Every blog I see has better writing than mine and great products for sale.  I know I shouldn't do it, but it's hard to not compare myself to every other blogger out there!  I spend a lot of time reminding myself that we're all in different stages of our journey.  I can't compare myself to others.


Love this quote.  {via}


So I guess the moral here is that there are some weird emotions going on in my head on a daily basis.



I need structure.

To ensure I'm being productive (and to avoid sending myself to my own mental principal's office) I've realized that I really need structure in my day.


I briefly mentioned this when I discussed creating a "Project To-Do List": these first few weeks of freedom made me see that I'm no good at waking up in the morning and just knowing what to do.  I need lists to tell me what I need to work on that day.


But I have a ton of different "projects" running around in my head (more on that below) so I have quite a few project to-do lists.  I needed to know how best to allocate my time to each project.


So last week as I laid awake at midnight (oops) I grabbed my phone and started typing up a loose schedule for my work days.  It's still needs some tweaking, but I'll be sure to share when it's done.  So far, it's been helping.  I work best with a deadline looming, so by creating smaller time blocks in my day, I create my own deadlines.  As long as I follow these deadlines, it should help my productivity.



I'm struggling with information overload.

Another issue I'm having is the Internet in general.  There are way too many fantastic websites teeming with great information- I could easily spend 8+ hours a day just reading posts and articles and finding new bloggers to be obsessed with.  But I don't have time for this!  I need to clean out my Bloglovin' reader because honestly I have a hard time not getting lost in there every day.  If all you bloggers could stop posting such great content all the time, that would be greeeeat.  K thanks :)



What am I even doing?

Right after quitting my job, I put up a post where I listed a few ideas that I had to bring in money.  You should click over and read that post too, but I'll summarize here: I was considering freelance writing, SEO writing, SEO consulting, entrepreneurship, and writing and selling e-books.


As time has gone on, I've kind of cut out the first three options (at least for now).  I'm most interested in creating something of my own, so entrepreneurship and e-books are what I've set my sights on.  [I guess SEO consulting could also be entrepreneurship, but I'm taking that off the table for the moment due to my general lack of knowledge about the subject- I'd have to spend awhile learning about it and I'm just not up for that right now.]


My first step is going to be an e-book.  I'll publish it for free on this site to build up my subscribers.  Then I'll push forward with my main goal:  becoming a financial coach.  I'm so interested in helping other people with their money and I'd love to try out some coaching to see if it's a viable business opportunity for me.


So those are my big two projects.  At the moment, I'm pushing the e-book:  I schedule my day with big blocks of time for writing that and writing blog posts.  Then I try to squeeze in time for reading & commenting on other blogs and general site maintenance (I'm trying to teach myself coding so that I can do cooler things with the blog), and that's the majority of my work day.  Once I get the e-book off the ground, I'll swap those time blocks for working on the financial coaching business.


I've got a ton of other ideas rolling around in my head, but I quickly realized that I can't do it all.  I needed to narrow my focus and concentrate on just a few things at a time.  Prioritize.  The other ideas can happen after these first two!



Overall, it's been great.

I hope this post doesn't come across as "wah wah wah, life is so tough while I sit at home eating bon bons typing on the computer"... I don't mean for it to be at all.  I absolutely realize that this is the coolest thing that I have ever gotten to do and I am so thankful that I'm able to pursue my dreams at such a young age.  I feel like I should pinch myself every day that I wake up and get to live this life.


I don't know what the future is going to hold, but I know for now, I'm getting a chance to make my dreams come true.  Not everyone has that opportunity, so I'm not going to take it for granted.



If we were sitting down and having a cup of tea... what would you tell me about your life?